With Brad Hand on the mound tonight as the starting pitcher for the Marlins against the Mets, it called to mind Major League players comprising the “All Body Team,” sort of Johnny Cigar’s Body Issue.
Rollie Fingers, Bill Hands, and Barry Foote from back in the day were the first three to come to the cerebellum. And there actually was a Mike Palm, who fits into the palm of this hand. Time for a little Chin music, though no big leaguer has ever had that name.
Then you have Nails, that would be Lenny Dykstra; and the more obscure Ralph Head, Ed Head and Jared Head of the twenties, forties and 2000’s, respectively. None of them Dead Heads. Did you know that Dave Brain actually played at the turn of the century.
Of course, Walter “No Neck” Williams, didn’t have a neck, so he’d have to be DQ’d but is worthy of mention.
The San Francisco Giants slugger Jim Ray Hart heads a list of 15 big leaguers with that heart-pumping name. Ricky Bones certainly qualifies, as does Brandon Backe.
Can Jimmy Bloodworth belong in this grouping? Nah! But the Lip, that would be Leo Durocher, absolutely does!
Is Rick Ankiel close enough to fit this shoe? Art, Jim, Jeff and Neal Ball are probably a stretch? So too, JJ Putz (ask your Jewish friends about this one!)
All of this gibberish somehow reminds me of when legendary Mets announcers Bob Murphy, Ralph Kiner and Lindsey Nelson always reminded Mets fans about the Pirates “all-meat” starting rotation of Bob Veale, Bob Moose and Ray Lamb whenever New York was playing Pittsburgh.
Those great broadcasters didn’t mention Eddie Bacon, who pitched a single season for Oakland in 1917. Add Moose Skowron, Goose Gossage, to the edible eats list, as well!
My old friend Maurice Cheeks, the former Sixers and Knicks cerebral point guard, I guess thankfully ends this story, a hoopster dribbling onto the diamond.
Thanks to Baseball-Reference for handy access to alphabetical listings of every Major Leaguer.